I like how you build up to the end and leave a cliff hangar that also feels satisfying. I also like how you capture the realness of a nice date that isn’t “I hate this person’s soul” or “you are the love of my life”. It’s basically just life, which is interesting if you actually inspect it. Kind of like what you did with the supermarket piece. Very interesting/unique way of describing the world. Precise without pretension.
MrA - I give you a 95 /100 on this. It was a good flow between characters. Got one gripe. No matter the exchange, it was always framed as he or she “said”. Even when a question was asked. Much can be communicated in dialog if the descriptor is phrased as: he worried, he wondered, he asked, he scolded, he flirted - otherwise - full marks MrA - keep writing / you’ve a good mind for it.
MrA- As a new guy here I’m running into a few navigation problems- having to do with the most efficient way to post posts and notes. Would you will willing to share a few of your insights about it over a live Zoom chat?
I like the way he recreated things. Somehow natural and genuine. Without unnecessary romanticized elements. And there's a sense of maturity in the whole scene.
I like how you build up to the end and leave a cliff hangar that also feels satisfying. I also like how you capture the realness of a nice date that isn’t “I hate this person’s soul” or “you are the love of my life”. It’s basically just life, which is interesting if you actually inspect it. Kind of like what you did with the supermarket piece. Very interesting/unique way of describing the world. Precise without pretension.
Thank you. Real snapshots trying to avoid Hallmark and Jennifer Aniston.
Did you have a second date with her? It sounds like it had gone well!
I liked your writing cadence.
Thank you! There will be a follow up soon.
Me too... I love this
MrA - I give you a 95 /100 on this. It was a good flow between characters. Got one gripe. No matter the exchange, it was always framed as he or she “said”. Even when a question was asked. Much can be communicated in dialog if the descriptor is phrased as: he worried, he wondered, he asked, he scolded, he flirted - otherwise - full marks MrA - keep writing / you’ve a good mind for it.
Hi Wayne. Thank you for the close reading. You're right about swapping out said occasionally. Deadpan and straight is my voice.
MrA- As a new guy here I’m running into a few navigation problems- having to do with the most efficient way to post posts and notes. Would you will willing to share a few of your insights about it over a live Zoom chat?
Loved this! 🙌🏾we need part 2 🫶🏾
Part 2 and 3 are up! Fast reads!
I like the way he recreated things. Somehow natural and genuine. Without unnecessary romanticized elements. And there's a sense of maturity in the whole scene.
Thank you for engaging. “The way he recreated things,” expand if you’re willing.
Very nice, easy to visualize
Ty for restack WR!